


Top or Bottom?

by Green8ofjacks (orphan_account)



Category: TikTok - Fandom
Genre: Crow - Freeform, It will be cannon, Lei Lau - Freeform, M/M, May not end up together, Our true calling in life, Passion, Sexy, Slow Burn, TikTok, Unicyle, beautiful hair, lei - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Green8ofjacks
Summary: Crow is a young man who is disgusted by everything who meets a man who is the literal definition of disgusting. Lei Lau makes quite an impression on Crow and becomes immediately enamored. To bad for Lei Crow is completely grossed out and wants nothing to do with him. Will they be able to look past their differences and fall in love or will Crow reject his advances.
Relationships: Lei Lau x crow
Comments: 2





	Top or Bottom?

TOP OR BOTTOM  
Crow, a tall lanky man with gorgeously long black hair and glasses got up like any other day. Little did this man of twenty-seven suspect that he would meet and talk to the man of his dreams! He was setting up the Covid-19 testing tent ready for a normal day of people without appointments, trying to get tested. Crow hates working at these disgusting pop-up hospitals; they were so dirty, gross! After only one tent he was already tired and wanted to go home, (What a hoe). Car after car, life is meaningless, he wishes he was just watching Tiktok ™. All were typical until this small Asian, non-K-pop idol rode up on this….wait? Is that a unicycle? Yes, this short dark-haired midget was riding a unicycle to his Covid-19 test, what a freak. His clothes were dope but the rest of him, disgusting, almost vomit-inducing. Crow’s glasses almost broke upon seeing such a revolting person.  
Crow’s coworker and ex-fiancé Nicki Minaj leaned over to him and whispered, “This guy is a total accident right?”  
Although he might hurt her by saying this he couldn’t take the high road. Crow looked at her while he was thinking the same thing, and he said, “This is why we are not together Nicki, why are you like this.”  
Clenching her cheeks, butt cheeks, in anger she spat, “Fine then, you administer the test Crow Timotheus Chelemet!” She stomped away in a sexy mask covered heels with her booty cheeks hammering as she sauntered. While she was walking the little grotesque fem-boy peddled up.  
This accident of a man took one look at Nicki’s clenched cheeks and spewed out, “Wow it’s not my birthday but thanks for the cake!” Crow’s face was pure loathing, what a sick individual. Apparently Knowing the drill, the small man took his identification out of the waistband of his pants. It had….smeared brown stains on it. Crow hoped with all of his very beings that it was chocolate. The very thought of chocolate made him contemplate if he should sniff it. No, he decided that this grotesque creature probably does not have chocolate.  
Seeing the look on Crow’s face the creature says, “Do it, I know you’re curious Mr. Nurse, trust me, I Lei Lau, would never shit on my own ID.” Crow is completely flabbergasted by this, who would say that? He decides it is definitely shit.  
Handing back Lei’s ID he utters in a monotonous tone, “Would you like the test administered from the top or bottom sir?” Upon hearing this Mr. Lau for some unknown reason shit himself so bad it came out his pant legs and projectile vomiting onto poor Crow. Like the imbecilic he is Lei started shaking his legs and the shit started to pool around him covering the inside of the tent including Crow.  
“I’ll take that as the top,” He says while wiping the vomit and shit off his glasses. Thank everything Crow’s long luxurious inches were untouched by the bodily fluids.  
The test was administered thank goodness, it’s over, Crow never has to deal with this literal shit head again. Unfortunately, when the man saw that it was over, he took the chance to look at Crow while flipping his shit covered bangs and said, “Want to get on my unicycle and ride all night baby?” DISGUSTING! This could possibly be the strangest thing young Crow has ever experienced. What kind of animal would spray literal crap, and then invite the person they covered with it on a bike ride?  
Seeing a possible excuse for escaping this horrendous situation Crow simply said with a completely straight face, “Doesn’t look like that unicycle can hold more than one person.” With a disappointed but understanding look, Lei rode away on his unicycle while winking suggestively with both eyes. Having been completely harassed by literal crap Crow decided to go home. Little did he know, the goblin poop man was following him home! Trailing behind his car was that person, that horribly gross person, Lei Lau the poop goblin. Unfortunately for Crow, he didn’t notice this, God save him. When Crow arrived home, he and his beautiful hair strolled through the door like he owned the place because he does, he pays the rent. Thank goodness he decided to close the door or the creepy Lei would have snuck in to watch him while he slept.  
Daily, Crow’s sister was appalled at the puddle of feces that he was trailing around the house. She is a sweet, caring, nurturing, beautiful, (more beautiful than Crow’s hair, face, and very existence,) and willing to do and kill anyone that hurts her family. She of course, really enjoys TikTok so, although grossed out by her brother, was willing to share a new TikTok she found while he was testing hoes.  
“Hey bro, come check out this new TikToker I found he’s really weird.” She says while motioning him over. She laughed as the said TikToker made a joke about his parents not loving him. After he said that Daily made a quip about how depressingly funny he is. Right as Daily made the joke Crow got over to her and saw, to his horror, Lei Lau the shit stain guy. Daily had never seen her brother so clearly appalled by someone before, she thought it was hilarious. At that exact time, there was a knock at the front door. Daily, the wonderful queen, got up to open the door to her delight the very man she just saw on her phone was standing there. He was dressed as a girl scout, holding a half-eaten box of thin mints. (When did he have time to change?) She did notice that behind him there was a pile of foul-smelling clothes in her bushes, strange.  
After she took him in fully he looked her up and down and said, “Wow you are almost as b00ty-Licious as your brother!” Crow being behind Daily when Lei said this turned around and sprinted like he didn’t see him and hid in the other room. God help Crow for he is the only one that might be able to at this point.

**Author's Note:**

> This an accurate estimation based on this ship. Will Crow and Lei end up together? You'll have to find out by reading the story ;)


End file.
